Animal Farm

I hate having pets.  They are one heart attack after another.  I have had so many horrible health scares with my beautiful dog in the past year.  He is now recovering from surgery.  He had fake cancer (TWICE) and he was accidentally given a ton of chicken bones (ARGH!!) and then recently he got badly injured and needed surgery.  He is fine now.  I would go into a rant about the differences in the veterinary care he received at different places but I don’t have the energy.  Let me just say that I love the Animal Medical Center.  They are really amazing and I don’t know if I can deal with having to take my animals elsewhere.

My stupid cat also contributed to my grey hairs.  She had to be rushed to the Animal Medical Center because a gigantic bloody hole appeared in her face only for me to find out that sometimes this happens with cats.  Ugh.  Other cat owners told me they drain the abscess themselves.  I will not do that.  Bloody craters in face always get vet attention to me.  I don’t want to make any tiny mistake with that.  I never knew cats randomly erupted and I do not want that to happen again.

She had a check up and vaccinations yesterday and wasn’t feeling well after and I flipped out.  Bought every kind of wet food I thought she might want and cat toys.  She finally ate and played with her toys and I’m sure soon she will be annoying me again.  I never had a pet get tired after vaccinations so even though I know in my brain it is normal I still went crazy.  I’ve decided she is too small to receive more than one vaccination at a time.   She’s almost back to normal this morning because she ate and walked around and did some jumping.  She slept on the bed closer to the dog than usual and she hasn’t been mean to him at all or jumped on the dining room table or shredded any toilet paper.  I’m waiting for her to start being bad again.  I might even give her a roll of toilet paper to see if she wants to shred it.  Yes, I did all the research and contacted all my cat expert people and I realize this is normal and I am crazy for overreacting but of course I will continue to overreact because that is my nature.

The birds are fine.  I have been bouncing around so much they are with my parents right now.  And yes, I miss them.  When I talk to my parents I can hear the birds singing in the bathroom.  My mom loves Squeaky.  Everyone loves Squeaky.  I have been having horrible dreams about Squeaky dying that I am trying to submerge in the back of my brain.

I don’t have a stable place to stay and somehow I have to find a way to keep bouncing around with a dumb dog and a dumb cat who both are rapidly becoming more expensive per pound than saffron.  Magically this has worked out so far but it can’t continue forever.  Got to figure something out.  The whole growing up thing is not working out so well for me.  Cut your hair and get a job.

Having the cat feeling down yesterday forced me to admit that I actually do care about her.  I even ignored my sweet dog who wanted to play so I could stare at her breathe like a lunatic.  And I made him stop moving around on the bed because I decided she wanted him to be still.  He was very upset with me.  Instantly forgot the last few months of me crying and holding him and staring at him breathing and sleeping with my head right next to him.  Never happened.  How dare I pay attention to the cat and not him?  Completely unacceptable.

I think my basic point in all this is that my animals are all okay but I hate them for fake dying so frequently this last year and I never want to have an animal again.  This has been an unpleasant year.  And the two years before that were unpleasant.  I think my years have been especially unpleasant starting in 2011.  Around August of 2011, not to be exact or anything.  It would be so nice to be happy or at least not miserable.

There are some wonderful things though.  My adorable dog is still alive and healthy and looks like he will make good on his promise to live until I am at least 30.  My adorable but dumb cat is fine and I believe she promised to live until I am at least 40.  Malachite should be around until I am 40 or 45.  Squeaky and Iggy didn’t promise me anything because they never told me their age.  I think since they are not elderly and are pretty healthy they should definitely be around for a good number of years.  If Squeaky and Iggy and my dog all die the day I turn 30 I will be so upset!  Then all I will be stuck with is a dumb cat who wants to eat my evil parrot and an evil parrot who would happily rip the ear off of my dumb cat.  Malachite is definitely not evil but ever since he attacked The Boyfriend Of The Past I’ve been worried he may bite someone else.  He has been nice to my parents but they are a bit cautious of him because his beak is much bigger than the other two.

I would cry if all I had in a few years was the evil parrot and dumb cat.  I guess I’ll probably have more animals in my lifetime.  Ugh.  Until Malachite dies I won’t get any other birds though because he has made it clear he does not approve and does not want any companionship.  No more cats because they are annoying and not as healthy as dogs and disobedient little somethings.  I’m lying, someday my dumb cat will get a dumb companion if she wants one.  I haven’t seen her interact with other cats yet.  My dog should get a buddy but he may not live long enough for me to be stable enough to take on another dog.  I won’t have any more pets until my finances have actually become finances…  Need a place of my own with more than one room to keep cat from birds and need financial stability.  So if this doesn’t happen while my dog is alive maybe we can borrow one of his friends from time to time for doggy play dates.  He loves it when other dogs come visit and he also loves it even more when they leave for good.

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Still Around, Moving Soon

So much has been going on.  So very much.  As always I am looking for a job and a place to live.  I will be moving very soon but no idea where to.  The birds and the dog are upstate.  They left a day or two ago.  I think I may have mentioned that I have a cat as well now.  She is still here with me but will spend a few day with a friend when I move.  My plan is to float around between upstate and the city for a little while and then hopefully move to The Bronx or Queens.  Or Manhattan or Brooklyn.  Or somewhere else?


My dog decided not to die of cancer but then recently developed another lump on a different paw.  He just got it chopped off to be biopsied and he has no idea he just had a piece cut off.  He is exactly the same.  I wish I were a dog.  I think it is unlikely that it is cancer as the first lump taken off was just a lump.  I don’t mind having an old lumpy, warty, fake-cancer having dog but I would like to know that is all it is.


My mom called me to tell me she’s nervous about feeding the birds.  I explained they won’t violently attack her for no reason.  Malachite can be a jerk but he likes women so I gave her water bowl for him that is easy to take out quickly.  She said that they actually seem kind of friendly and are singing to her.  I told her Squeaky is the sweetest bird in the world and he will actually stick his beak by your nose and sing to you forever.  Iggy is sweet in her own way, which means she prefers men and may randomly nip without causing pain.  Mr. Malachite should be fine with my mom, since we are practically the same person, but I don’t know how he will feel about my dad.  Writing this makes me realize I forgot to warn them about jewelry!  Haha, got to let them know right now!


Anyway, we are all okay but in a state of disarray that is really only impacting me because they’re all having lots of fun without me.  And then there is my stupid cat who is really terribly stupid and always happy and sweet.  She’s finally reached her full size and she is super tiny.  I think she must be a year and half now.  I have never liked cats that much but she is quite charming.  Since the birds left she got to sleep with me for the first time and she’s so small I can’t find her in the morning.


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Animal Updates

The miniature-but-still-incredibly-fierce wolf will live to die another day.  Times two.

My dog has returned.  He is as cute as he ever was if you ignore his ugly paw paw.  Two paws on purpose, to me dogs have paw paws instead of paws.  He does not have cancer.  He will be around to sneakily eat tissue paper and create hidden spots to pee in throughout the apartment for a good while longer.  He did forget all of his manners while living with my parents and I am not happy but a few weeks of horrific abuse should take care of it.

We did have a recent scare involving the Animal Medical Center.

Some important additional things I may not have covered.  I have a cat, pretty sure I covered that one.  My friend moved back to NYC and I am watching her two dogs for her for an eternity while she gets settled in.  So there are other animals here.  Plus one more coming for a short stay tomorrow.  My brother is also staying here.

He came back in the middle of the week.  Sunday I came home from work with a horrible migraine and passed out.  I woke up because the migraine was so bad.  My brother had a friend over and I was being social (always a bad idea) when I noticed my dog wasn’t coming when called.  He always comes when called.  Got up to see why.

My brother left out a huge stash of chicken bones.  Cooked ones.  The kind that make little white fluffy dogs die terrible deaths.  In a cab to the Animal Medical Center we went.  Dog is fine.  Brother is just getting over how terrified he was and how bad he felt.  Luckily I was pretty much incapacitated with a migraine so I wasn’t angry.  Still not angry.  Brother felt very bad and paid for everything and I didn’t even feel like yelling once my migraine went away.

So dog is/was eating disgusting prescription canned dog food that is horrible quality but will prevent a blockage which will cost thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to fix.  So boring low quality dog food it is.  We are now working roast duck and fried chicken back into the mix because I am a horrible pet owner who did a ton of Chinatown grocery store shopping and who has a brother working at a soul food/BBQ/good ol’ Amurrican food restaurant.  And yes, the food is amazing and he brings me home free food from time to time and I love it.

Again, Animal Medical Center was the bestest ever.  If you remember that is the same place I took Romeo to.  They had a record of that visit and asked if my dog was Romeo.

I also have a new computer.  My mac is seriously starting to die so I got a huge external hard drive to transfer everything.  Can’t lose pictures of cranberry coconut bird dishes and my adorable dog doing absolutely nothing.  I now have a Google computer.  A Chrome one.  The one that costs $199.  I have never had a computer that was not a mac.  I was very nervous but spent a lot of time talking to the wonderful guy working for Google and he assured me that while it is not a mac and is not pretending to be he thought it would be a great computer for now.  And I love it.  I really do.  It’s small and the lightest computer ever.  Doesn’t heat up when I use it for hours.  Nice battery life.  Everything works intuitively like macs so I can figure things out easily.  No having to upgrade anything or do virus protection or any of those things I never do.  So far I haven’t used any of the space on it at all.  I do miss having the ability to sync my music on my phone but when I get desperate I can force my mac to work.  I haven’t used my mac since getting this super fun and super cheap computer.  Even if it dies in a year or two it is worth it.  I can do all my paperwork for work on it and all that fun stuff.  I haven’t bothered to figure out all the cool things it does.

I’ll post pictures of my newest furry family member.  Miss Kitty is very cute and not allowed in the bedroom.  She will never be allowed around the birds.  I do not believe in cats and birds coexisting without great risk and stress to the birds and I refuse to allow it to become an issue.  So dog gets free run of entire apartment and cat gets free run of everywhere but bedroom.  Again, she is really cute and really tiny.  I have a itty bitty Shih Tzu coming to stay for a few days and they will be about the same size.

I never thought I’d say it but cats are super cute pets and even though dogs are obviously the superior pet I am learning to enjoy feline destruction.  Dogs still rule though.  My dog would never shred entire rolls of toilet paper and paper towels at lightning speed.  My dog would never shred a leather couch.  My dog would never rip up expensive shoes.  My dog would never try to eat my headphones.  My dog doesn’t bite toes.  My dog doesn’t bite throats.  My dog doesn’t pull bathroom window curtains down when people are naked.  My dog doesn’t attack you through the shower curtain while you have your eyes closed.  My dog doesn’t hide behind corners and leap out at your feet.  Cat no longer does this to me after she realized I am basically an animal who never evolved to full human so if something attacks me I am likely to fling it across the hallway.  Similarly my dog only woke my ex boyfriend up by fake morning attacks.  He tried it with me once and I freaked out in my sleep and threw him off the bed.  So cat has learned she can attack my brother and my roommate but not me or she dies.

My dog and cat love each other.  I didn’t mean to keep her.  Have I written about my coming into a cat story yet?  If I haven’t I will.  I see videos of cats not letting dogs pass them in the hallway or they swat them.  That would never happen here.  I rule with an iron paw paw and all the other paw paws are made of a softer metal.  My life goal is now to get a picture of them snuggling together.

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The Old, The New, The Borrowed, The Blue

Apparently there will be no “right time” to discuss this.  Not horrible news first.


I found a cat on the street.  Thought she was a kitty but the vet told me she’s almost an adult, just severely underweight.  I found her exactly two weeks before Juliet died.  She’s had all her shots and tests and is a much healthier weight now.  And no, she is not allowed in the same room as the birds.  She was quarantined and is getting along with my dog very well and it is super cute.


At some point I will go into how I found her and how adorable she is but right now I am consumed with worry.


My dog may be unwell.  This is HungryBird and all but to be honest my dog is everything to me.  Simply everything.  I love him more than I’ve loved any other pet.  By miles.  I even love him more than my black GSD, which I feel bad about admitting but now that it’s come down to it I know it’s true.


I don’t know for sure if my dog is sick or not.  If he is it could be manageable or he might die.  He is only ten years old.  The concern is cancer.  I’m so unhappy I alternate between crying in public (something I really hate doing) or just walking around like a soulless zombie trying not to cry in public.


So basically I don’t really care about anything else until I find out what’s going on with him.  When I adopted him as a teenager we made a pact that he would stick around until I was at least 30.  Which means he’s not close to the end of his contract so he’d better stick around.


It may very well not be cancer.  He is going to the vet soon.  They will most likely remove the little lump either way because it seems to be bothering him. This all happened yesterday.  I cried at physical therapy and my body ached more than usual.  I cried on the street.  I cried on the train.  I cried before I left the house and when I came home.  And by crying in public I mean tears in the eyes, not actual crying.  I’ve only cried in public twice once because I was a dramatic teenager and once because I ran into someone who was dying who I cared about.  I saved my dramatic sobbing for the house where I could bury my face in his soft white fluffy fur that always smells good no matter how long it’s been since a bath.


I always thought I’d get a second dog so I would never be without a dog but I don’t feel that way.  My mom had to put her dog down suddenly and it stunned our family.  Or at least it stunned my mom and myself as we still mourn him.  If I hear the worst news possible and he has to be put down soon I don’t feel that I have the heart to get another dog while he is dying.  I will resent that dog for being healthy and new and not my dog.  So now I’m just lost.  He is supposed to live at least another five or six years.


I’m going to give him a bath and a brushing before he goes to the vet.  Kind of like making sure I shave my legs before I go to the doctor.

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It Seems She Hangs Upon The Cheek Of Night

Juliet died Tuesday morning.


I knew she was dying when I saw her in the morning.  I don’t really know how I knew but I did.  I immediately called the vet a few blocks from my house but she died as we were about to leave the apartment.


I’m pretty upset about it.


She will be buried with Romeo upstate.  Now they can bicker and squabble forever.


I had other things to write about but they will have to wait.

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Cut Your Hair And Get A Job!

We moved. We are back in the city. My dog likes this new apartment and neighborhood.

I just renewed my domain name so now I have to write since I paid for another year. At some point I’ll try to pay for five years up front.

Need a new cage for Juliet. Need to order some pellets.

We are all doing well. Just busy. Working and working and looking for more work. Considering going back to school but unsure about cost and time required and all that. Plus I hate school.

I’m a godmother now. It’s actually disgustingly exciting. My friend had the most adorable baby girl in the universe. She is so cute and obviously intelligent. I love seeing high levels of intelligence in young kids because I’m weird like that. I just went to my childhood bookstore to buy her some of my favorite childhood books (Goodnight Moon!!!) and I can’t wait to watch her clumsily attempt to unwrap them.

Boyfriend and I are no longer together. Not sure if I mentioned this already. It’s been a while. Personal and all that. Don’t hate him and am not dating anyone. Not looking to be honest. Trying to focus on getting myself stable health and career wise first.

The more I think about education the more I want to throw up the more I think I should probably get a stupid degree. Ugh. We don’t need no thought control. I hate school so much but I suppose I have to march to the beat of society’s drum.

I also need to get a credit card since I have no credit history at all. And I need a new computer. I have used Macs since I was a tiny little thing and I refuse to change because I like the familiar. A new computer will be significantly more than one month of rent though so it is something to save for. I can’t decide whether to get a laptop or a desktop. Laptops are convenient but desktops are so great. Haven’t had one in years and the Mac desktops are amazing. I would of course clamp it to a desk so it can’t possibly fall. My laptop still technically works but it is going to die someday and, like dogs, I need to have a backup. Haha, I’m a terrible person for saying that!

I don’t know if you remember but last time we moved the birds adjusted immediately while my melodramatic dog had a rough time for two weeks. This time was a little different. I moved in for two nights before bringing the animals, who stayed with my family. My dog was very aware of the fact that I was sleeping elsewhere, maybe even with another dog! My family said he would walk around looking for me. When I finally came to get him and bring him to the new apartment he was so overjoyed to be reunited that he immediately adjusted to the new apartment and has had absolutely no anxiety. So obviously every time I move I need to abandon him for a few days. The birds thought moving was a fun adventure and happily chirped away the entire time.

In the next three years I will have to get another dog. A backup dog. My little man is ten years old and I don’t want to spring a new dog on him when he is ancient. I must admit I will be choosing a dog for him as well as for me. He will accompany me to pick our future buddy out. I might even get another dog just like him because they are fantastic dogs. I never imagined I would have small dogs.

This means I need to get my life in order within three years. A second dog is a huge commitment and another sixteen years of responsibility. Totally not ready for this yet but trying to plan ahead. Also, I should really have my life in order in three years anyway because I’m not 18 anymore. Grow up, shape up, move out, move on, move up. As my Nana would say, cut your hair and get a job.

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Phoenix Foraging Rolls Special!!!!

Phoenix Foraging Rolls is having a wonderful deal today so I went ahead and placed an order! I got a bag of their UnPellet Mix (so amazing, everyone should try it!) and I also got two bags of their new UnPellet Mix for small birds! Suuuuper excited about the small bird mix even though I must say my small birds devoured the regular one with no trouble!

I’m also going to place another food order at some point. Probably pellets. I’m going to be moving around and going crazy and the birds may stay with my parents for a bit while I move (Mom, Dad, hope you aren’t reading this site right now!!!) so I want to make it easy to care for them.

I’m going to use my Fauna gift card this week and get them dry food. Probably some of their special blends. Have Phoenix Foraging Rolls stuff arriving at some point so between all these things they will be fine.

Looking for a place to live! Cheap place, near train station. Any train as long as it goes into the city. Ideal if there were multiple lines to choose from. Cheap place, cheap neighborhood, cheap groceries. Don’t need to live in a cool, hip neighborhood because I’m not cool or hip and I work a lot anyway and just want to save money.

Sending in a job application today for a job I want to get. Hoping everything works out!!!

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